Only if it’s stopped being an event for both of you. Making it permanent is a genuinely different decision from trying it, and it’s worth understanding why before you decide.

Every letter reaches me personally, usually with my morning tea before anyone else is up—thank you for sending yours. If something’s on your mind, the Contact page is always open, and what you send stays between us.

Should I keep my husband in panties?

We drifted into it rather than deciding. There was no evening where I announced anything—just a stretch of weeks where he stopped putting anything else on, and a morning where I realised I’d stopped noticing. That’s usually how it happens, and it’s worth pausing on, because the drift version and the decided version feel quite different to live in.

When it’s occasional, it’s an occasion. There’s a small charge to it every time — he notices, you notice, something is happening. When it’s permanent, that charge goes, and what replaces it is quieter: a steady background sense of who decides. Insight: You’re choosing between a recurring thrill and a constant, low-level arrangement. Neither is better, but people who want the first and choose the second are usually disappointed.

Here’s how I’d think it through.

1. Ask What You’d Be Losing

If the pleasure is in the asking—the moment where you hand them over and he goes slightly still—permanence removes that. Say it plainly to yourself: “Do I want the moment or the arrangement?”

2. Check Whether He’s Still Choosing

“Is this something you still want, or just something we do now?” Habit is fine. Habit he’s quietly stopped enjoying is worth catching early.

3. Decide What Happens Outside the House

Work, the gym, his mother’s. Permanent means permanent, so agree the exceptions in advance rather than negotiating them in a hurry one morning.

4. Handle the Practical Bit

Enough pairs, somewhere they live, who buys them. Unglamorous, and it’s the thing that quietly ends most arrangements that stop working.

5. Keep One Thing Deliberate

If you do go permanent, keep something occasional — a particular pair for particular nights. It preserves a bit of the charge inside the routine, which is the trick that makes this last.

Ours has been permanent for a long time now, with one drawer that stays for evenings, and that split is the part I’d recommend to anyone. If you’re earlier on and still working out how to introduce it at all, start there instead. And if he was already wearing them before you knew, that’s a different conversation. Which version suits your house? Share below. For a head start, grab my free Top 10 Trust-Building Tips for Couples—it’s yours the moment you subscribe.